Three days ago, it was St. Patrick’s Day and I was… sober? Thanks to Corona Virus. Sure, I could’ve gotten drunk at home, but on a Tuesday night without tacos, it’s just alcoholism. And I’m sure by now you are all tired of hearing about COVID-19, coronavirus, social distancing, staying inside, and avoiding puking up tide pods and tequila on spring break in Miami. Looking at you Gen Z (kidding). So this post will hopefully be a welcome break from all of that.
As I start to work out what the main focus of this blog is going to be, I’m trying new things, or rather, a mix of old and new things. Recently I just finished reading Pat Shipman’s Invaders: How Humans and their Dogs Drew Neanderthals to Extinction, which is a fascinating look at how, and if, neanderthals interacted with humans… and how by domesticating wolves into cute little fluffy dogs, we eradicated them and other species from the earth. I also just finished reading Influencer: Building Your Personal Brand in the Age of Social Media by Brittany Hennessy. What? I’m curious how these people do their thing. How they get their… “it-ness.”
Hennessy breaks down social media and branding into simple, but not easy, steps that I’m pretty sure I couldn’t carry out successfully. After all, I’m a pale imitation of those 20-year olds skipping through NYC and Milan wearing pink jackets and sitting in hip coffee shops with neon signs. Quite literally, I am super pale. Things were so much simpler when all you had to do was wear dresses above your ankles, smoke, and drink, and you were a certified Clara Bow “It Girl.” I ended up in the wrong 20’s apparently.
Now, if you care more about the real world, I would recommend you read Invaders or What If? Serious Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Scientific Questions. That review to come soon… I think. It’s a super funny, easy, and simple book that explains absolutely ridiculous (and normally boring) physics, math, and economic questions with terrible drawings and great science.
That brings me to my final topic, St. Patrick’s Day. Since I spent this St. Paddy’s reading, I’ll regale you in tales of drunken days past. Last year I failed to write up a sufficient review of this most holy of days, but I did manage to actually live it. I was looking back through my photos and managed to bring that night to the forefront of my memory (with a little help from google maps to find the name of the actual places I went).
Last year, I managed to take full advantage of the best festivities the Nation’s Capitol had to offer. My friends and I went to a bar crawl dressed in green kitty ears and leather jackets. Although there were six bars in total, we only made it to three. Well, two-and-a-half. And here’s why…
Bar #1: Decades – check in time. The crawl start at 2pm and aren’t THAT late. We just spent 45 minutes circling Dupont Circle looking for a place to park while I cranked The Struts’ ‘Body Talks’ and sipped on vodka and crystal light from a water bottle. Because, class. We stay almost three hours and didn’t even make it to the top floor, but I got jello shots, sweaty dancing, and Moscow Mules; all was well.
Bar #2: City Tap House – maybe had a little too much fun at Decades because now it’s almost 8pm and there are 5 more bars. So we hop over to the CTH, which I kind of hate because it’s too loud and no one is dancing or talking to anyone but their weird little cliques. One vodka & diet, and we out.
Bar #3: The Big Hunt – the closest bar to CTH on the list we can make before the 9pm free entry deadline. We rush in, flashing those arm bands with minutes to spare. We meet up with another group in the game room and I find out my Skee-ball skills are top notch when I’m three Tito’s and Diet (and some jello shots) in. Lesson learned; never stay too long at any single bar, and unless you’re networking, stay away from the pretentious ones.