Just Give Me The (Netflix) Dirt

Don’t spread any real dirt or germs… that would be dangerous during these end of days. So here I am, in Day 1 of social isolation and I’m piling up on the biographies; books, movies, etc. After revisiting Roxana Shirazi’s groupie epic, The Last Living Slut, I rekindled my love of reading about musicians and their insane lifestyles. Just started reading Louder Than Hell: The Definitive Oral History of Metal, High on Rebellion: Inside the Underground at Max’s Kansas City, and Pamela Des Barres’ Take Another Little Piece of My Heart.

But since I am making my way through approximately 1,930 pages of ebooks (thank you very much, $9.99 a month Scribd app) I’ll talk about THE DIRT. The Netflix movie, not the book. Full disclosure: I have actually not read The Dirt so this review is based completely on the movie. However, I HAVE read The Heroin Diaries and I can’t even with that… who shoots Jack Daniels up their arm?

Motley Crue has always been a controversial band for their behavior and general shittiness towards women. However, they have a special place in my heart for being one of the first hard rock bands that I discovered on my own (re: pilfering Dr. Feelgood from my parents old tape collection). Not to mention, Crue also awakened my love of all things androgyny. And speaking of androgyny, Machine Gun Kelly is almost unrecognizable as Tommy Lee. He, and the rest of the cast, clearly put in the hours of doing the research. I am thoroughly impressed at how much Kelly and the others were able to match the Crue’s mannerisms, and even their speech. You are made of stone if you don’t die laughing at the POV “Day in the Life” scenes of Tommy Lee.

Looking at hair metal through 2020 lens (or, 2020 vision you could say…) most of it seems relegated to that time and place. One of the few problems with this movie (yes, I am ignoring the more problematic issues just because that would be a whole thesis in, of itself, and I am still recovering from my last thesis), is that it does not look like a movie that takes place in the 80’s. Maybe it’s the clean production, the crisp picture, or the lack of any references to anything other than the band and a few pop culture shoutouts; this could easily take place in 1993, or even 2013.

Certain Stylistic choices aside, I love the shot for shot recreations of MTV docs and home videos. And of course, the soundtrack is a banger. I’ve been wanting to talk about this for ages because this movie is prime material for a drinking game. The first time I watched it, I resolved to create my own, as a matter of fact, it even inspired my penchant for the art. So here are the ground rules:

Drinking Game for Motley Crue’s The Dirt (Movie Edition); 1. Drink whenever sex happens on screen, 2. drink whenever there’s a petty band argument, 3. finish your drink when one of the band members does something stupid/pulls a prank. If you want to play the hardcore version, you drink every time someone says the ‘fuck’ word. I mean, the ‘F’ word. What’s my final verdict? It’s funny and fun, but it’s no Bicycle Thieves: 3.4/5

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